Guest Post: Jessie’s Subconscious

While I’m in China, I’ll have a series of guest posters and backlogged posts going up.

Hi all! Jessie’s subconscious here. While Jessie sleeps in China, I’m freed up to do a post about the kind of food I really like. You’ll read many post about tasty vegetables and so forth, like Beans and Cauliflower and Greenola? Noticeably absent has been a post about fried food. Until now. Now’s the chance for me to break out and make some of that delicious fried food I’ve been pining for ever since January 2009.

Fried Food!
Today I will be making a complete fried meal. One of the first fried foods that springs to mind is chicken, an item that will be featured prominently in this post. Chicken takes awhile to prepare, so we’ve got to start on that early. Begin by making a tasty brine. Brining is a great way to keep chicken moist and impart some extra flavor. A brine is built off the basic ingredients of water, salt, and something sweet. In this case I added thyme, bay leaves, lemon, and used honey as the sweetener. If you’ve got some nice non-clover honey, feel free to use that.

Each one tastes different!

Incidentally, Jessie took the camera with her and hid it, so I had to dig up the old one that takes crappy indoor pictures. Thanks, Jessie.

After brining the chicken for several hours, it’s ready for a coating and some frying. I used a potent double-dip combo of flour, paprika, rosemary, oregano, salt, pepper, and garlic, onion, and chile powders with coconut-flavored half-and-half in between.

Crappy camera.

Fry for 11 minutes at 320 degrees in peanut oil if you have it. Jessie doesn’t stock peanut oil, probably because of subsidies to the peanut industry or something. After 11 minutes, you should have something delicious-looking like this:

Even the garnish is fried. Notice Jessie's subconscious's drink of choice.

If any oil spills during the process, rely on the dog to clean up.


But wait! What dinner is complete, with just the meat! (Poetry) You need your bread, fruit, vegetable, and sweet! (More poetry) (Milk takes care of the dairy, or have some fried ice cream). Good thing I thought of all of that ahead of time. Behold!

From left to right, polenta, tomato, banana, and Clif Kids bar. The bar got lost in the oil.

How can you turn down a dinner like this? Unfortunately, I’ll probably have to wait until next January to have it again.

And that’s it! My guess is that Jessie will lock down her subconscious for future posts, so enjoy while you can!

What’s your favorite fried food? Eggs don’t count!


  1. HAHA, JESSIE’S SUBCONSCIOUS IS ALMOST AS AWESOME AS THE GREAT JESSIE HERSELF. (I say almost because this is her blog, but really, you two are obviously just one person.)

    However, I must point out to you that your chicken looks a bit on the charred side, my friend. Better work on those deep-frying techniques! Other than that, I was highly amused by your platter of fried onesies: tomato, polenta, clif far and banana. It was very photogenically ugly and yet horrendously cute at the same time. 🙂

    I’m sure Jessie was thrilled. Hahaha!


  2. Hahaha! What a cute post 😀 I hope the real Jessie is getting a good night’s rest as we all know her troubles with sleeping. Don’t worry Jessie, your subconscious gave is a healthier, yummy version of fried chicken while you were snoozing away. You taught it well 😉 I really liked the idea of coconut flavored half-and-half.
    My favorite fried food would have to be deep fried salt and pepper squid! Dip that in some hot sauce and I’m a happy camper 😀 I’d love if someone invented deep fried durians though. Wonder what that would taste like. Ok I’ll shut up before I gross out your readers. Have a fun time and eat LOTS!

  3. I can’t think of a single fried food that I have tried other than fried rice so I guess that wins!

  4. I love this…your subconscious is almost as great as you!

    Back when I could eat anything and not gain an ounce I ate french fries like they were going out of style. Definitely my favorite fried food!!

  5. I had to skim this as I love fried chicken and didn’t want to be tempted:-)
    Love the “Jessie’s subconscious”!

  6. I find fried sticks of butter are the best way to top off a good meal. Helps with the digestive process.

  7. Hehe!! Well hello Jessie’s subconscious!! I think MY subconscious would be frying up everything if I was gone too… 😉 My favorite fried food – easy, french fries. Homemade with the skins on… mmmmmmmm!! And did you REALLY fry up part of a kid’s clif bar? Great idea, and at least it wasn’t a twinkie or a snickers bar… and did you KNOW that you can actually deep fry coke… as in coca cola?!!!!! YEP, and I have no idea how that works or how that would even look… but that is what I hear!

  8. Wow, that first poster really ripped in to the chicken. If you don’t make your fried items completely crispy, what is the point of frying?!? Anyway, the most incredibly superior fried food has to be the Scotch Egg. Now I know you said no eggs, but hear me out. Hard boiled egg, wrapped in breakfast sausage so it makes a giant ball and then breaded and deep fried. Truly amazing. Serve with mustard.

    I hope Jessie’s subconscious is able to post a few more before Jessie’s return.


      The tone of this comment sounds condescending. I take offense. I really “ripped in to the chicken”? Oh, please. I beg to differ.

  9. Hahaha love hearing from your sub-conscious! 😉

    I’m actually not a big fan of fried food (I know, I know…I’m sorry). But, I do LOVE fried eggplant — usually in the form of eggplant parm, and fried zucchini. 🙂 I could probably eat either of those all day.

  10. That’s some lip-slurping tasty chicken. I’d make me a sandwich with those puppies, and I don’t mean the dogs (that one above is gonna get plump like poultry if she’s grubbing up grease). Yee haw

  11. like david I like fried butter wrapped in a waffle (a la Homer Simpson)

  12. Hilarious post! i loved it. My favorite fried food is fried mozzarella sticks. I also like fried fish. I rarely do fried food because I wind up getting sick as I am sans gall bladder.

  13. Wonderful post Jessie. Very creative.

    I shutter when people say that “anything fried is good!” Because if you just rethink that statement a bit, it’s really not true.

    However, I do love me some fried food. It’s part of a wonderfully balanced diet. Okay, a bit of hyperbole there, but it is great in moderation.

    My favorite, has to be Bistec Empanizado, or breaded and fried steak. What memories of my childhood come rushing back. And Cheese, there are many cheeses that fry up amazingly.


  14. ROFL What a fantastic post. Thanks Jessie’s Sub 😉 I knew you were in there somewhere and glad you finally clawed your way out. Your fried chicken looks fantabulous – love the sides too! Now hand me one of those chicken pieces – that’s right….the HUGE one!

    @ LeQuan – too late…I can feel my face turning green 😛 ……. 😉

  15. Dr. frybaby says:

    Wonderful recipes. I wonder if you’ve tried Chicken Kiev…chicken wrapped around frozen garlic butter, then the whole thing is deep fried. When you cut into it, it is crispy on the outside, soft on the inside (like eskimos in an igloo, courtesy of Gary Larsson) and it spurts garlic butter all over.
    Fried ice cream is great too…hard ice cream rolled in ground almonds and fried golden brown.

    Also hard to beat onion rings, cheese sticks, corn fritters, Oh, and delicious pancakes poured into melted butter and corn oil.
    I heard today about a woman who wants to be the biggest pregnant woman ever. She’s going for a thousand pounds before she delivers. She needs to eat here, since she is only 680 pounds now.
    By the way, great posts by Dave, Adam, Courtney and Pete, whoever you are. You should have shows on the food network.
    Keep it up, and I’ll try to keep it down.

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